Tuesday leaves a mark...

When the call came I knew it was going to be a rough ride to the Vet... and then I had no idea what to expect, I mean I knew what was going to happen – but I was unsure how graceful the event or I would be. I was not dropping everything to head to the hospital, I was rushing in where many would be walking out... so I follow...

Tuesday was failing. He'd been living a troubled existence the last few years  with feline diabetes and other assorted old age ailments. In lieu of a terrible ever uncomfortable and faltering existence, the very hard and loving decision was made to give him an easy exit plan. Interesting how divided folks are on this subject – but for such a wonderful companion who filled one young ladies  life for 18 years – it was the one last saving grace that Lisa could offer her four legged friend. We all put a lot of human traits on our pets... mine bounds in to the bedroom and pounces on me sleeping and defenseless licking my face and ears... waking me up suddenly and I am filled with hilarious joy and laughter erupts, after all these years I know that means time to make "someone" breakfast. We are told to leave the room with this foolishness so early in the morning... I smile... we go start the day my little girl and I.

Today, Now - Our sails are shredded, the emotional storm has come. We know this day has been on the horizon … salt water fills our eyes… this soft sunshine warm fall afternoon will be Tuesday's last roaming , as little as he has been the last weeks, the puffy warm comforter on Lisa’s bed. Standing on the sidewalk outside the vets office, we say little with words to each other. Dad would say the "Eyes have it." Anyone walking past can see they do...

It’s not the "knowing" the day will come, it’s shocking visceral and stunning and hugely personal – knowing TODAY…any moment now … this life will cease… Today is the day, this afternoon our old friend Tuesday will slip the surly bounds of life as we know it here. We'll stand witness to the crossing... it's one of lifes stand and deliver times.

A sudden flashback hits me as I recall Lisa's apartment overlooking the roof in Winnetka. I am slightly happy as I have finished dinner at La Bella at the Bachelors table, you know the one under the lights in the front room corner,  the good fellas pictures hanging on the wall around it. I was seated immediately with some fanfare as the “classy lady”  and her date stare… Who are you? When I entered they looked down across their noses as I walked past, they were smoking outside the entrance… the look was a “The help does not enter the front doors" look…

I was treated like a famous celebrity, a table cloth covering my grass stained blue jeans and shoes. The owner’s young daughter in a pretty little dress with crayons and paper - hanging with me as first the Salad and a beer arrive – then a dinner I did not order… I don’t even recall if I was required to pay for the meal…you see Lisa was working, as she ended her shift I got fed and sent upstairs for another beer in her kitchen…to wait. That’s when "IT" happened. 

Tuesday could do nothing to save me. As I opened the fridge to get the beer I was accosted by Braunte, Lisa’s other cat. Braunte was crazy… I nearly dropped the beer but quickly grabbed a dish towel to hold like a matador blocking the taunting Braunte from striking me. The blood curdling sounds were bad enough but the repeated swipes and attacks… Hilarious and scary both at the same time. I was working on opening the beer but could never accomplish the task due to the attacks coming at a rapid pace and at any sign of weakness... like setting the beer on the table to grab the opener.Literally trapped in the kitchen , the only way out blocked by a howling hissing nasty mad ball of fur...would I have to fight my way out of the corner? I had this cold beer I could open...maybe...

About the time that I was tiring of the howling and attacks, really just about the time I decided to go tactical and create an overt return attack between the dish towel my foot and a pot Lisa arrived to save me. Hysterical is all I can say, What the “H” “E” double tooth picks? Lisa was consoling to me and Braunte… Tuesday just saw the opportunity to come over to hang out with me, like nothing had ever happened.

Then there was the cool photography opportunity in Lisa’s new condo in Northfield. Tuesday was a peach… a big white fluffy peach… Light and color conspire to create these images…

Oh... My daydream ends. 

I am back on Greenbay Road standing outside the vets office looking for Rob to arrive. I have a dull ache in my gut, not a word to say – only a snuggle or two… Lisa is just beside herself – but way more composed than I would be,  I am consoling and an observer. The camera insulates me… I realize… the headache of our purpose throbs in my temples… Rob arrives, there is that look again... it's to be expected. The staff knows what we are here to do… they anticipate seeing the distress and emotion which is lurking in the corners, a shadow of a hint  - they know it’s there. Compassionate and helpless as they watch, how will we, as a collective,  transition across this boundary. Quietly, respectfully and with grace… red strained wet eyes and a runny nose, the relief of a halting breath and with pursed lips. There is no embarrassment here… some strong deep rooted feelings are bristling.As terrible as it is , it's a good feeling to know.

The staff and doctor are gracious and welcoming – we are on Lisa and Tuesday’s time, there is no rush. Our efforts this late afternoon will be to ease these two friends across vista they have arrived at. 

The stainless table is stark and foreboding to me… Tuesday is off to get the port set up. We look at each other trying not to touch a word or shoulder or subject which might set off a chain reaction… we are a hot mess… the three musketeers… there’s more here than what we are seeing. It can be felt in the air.

Tuesday returns and looks good for a cool “Cat” on this day. I wonder what he knows?  After a little discussion with the doctor, Lisa holding Tuesday, they agree it’s time.

I think it was more the conversation ended… 

I was still shooting when I realized the needle was in… as I shut down the camera it made a noise…

Rob looked at me, his face says he is shocked I was still shooting…

Hush… hush…

We looked to Tuesday...he gracefully lowered his head and settled, finally comfortable and motionless. It was a slow motion settling… To me, It looked like a bow to Lisa. Head on his paw and he was gone. I thought how appropriate this four legged friend bow to his human companion? 

We were witness to his passing, I can assure you he went peacefully and easily… in the arms of his great human companion. We on the other hand, well we were all one in that moment. Speechless… nodding. 

Not to be taken lightly and as fleeting as it was, it was not.  

All these years later and I remember it like it was yesterday. 

Here are a few companions we have said goodbye to over the years.

Patch Bear in North Kingstown

Orange kitty in Vernon Hills

Binx - sink sitting In Bentonville

Bosley as a youngster in Bentonville

Ben Kitty in Rhode Island photo CKalina  

Laddie in Buffalo Grove

Abbey girl in Vernon Hills

Abbey hanging with her man.

Carly - Hanover PA

 

 Miss Emily K

                                  Mad-Dog Maddie

 

 Pet Loss and Bereavement Resource Directory

https://www.petpartners.org/Pet-Loss-Directory

 

Had to add this:

http://www.reshareworthy.com/20-facts-for-dog-lovers/